At times throughout your life, you encounter those ‘moments of truth’. Sometimes it may be when confronted with a moral dilemma. Perhaps it might be an imminent life change for the worse. It could be one of those life changes for the better. Whichever it is, things are forever changed and your decisions at the time shape the landscape of your future.

I’ve just had one such moment.

I received an email today to advise me that I have won USD850,000 in a Belgian lottery that I can’t even remember buying a ticket in. All I have to do is contact the organizers and apparently they will send me the money, no strings attached.  I guess.

I’ve already made some plans with the winnings and I had to turn no further than the very source of my good news to find ways of spending it - my email.

I think the first thing I must do with my new found wealth is to "make her groan all night long".  I am buying a supply of Viagra tablets that are the cheapest available. I also intend to shell out some of my winnings on making my 'penis 4 inches longer', just so "she will gasp with amazement at my huge cock".

It pays to impress, so I cannot fail but spend some of the money on "sizzling Rolex gold watch deals". Can you ever have enough gold Rolex watches I say?!

I no doubt will have to travel from Australia to Belgium to collect my winnings, so I intend to increase my wealth on the way over. I’ll be stopping over in Nigeria on the way. I’ll see if I can catch up with that "Nigerian prince" who is keen to enlist my financial wizardry by helping him smuggle enormous amounts of money from the country - all for an almost unbelievable commission rate.

With all the money coming my way, I think I can invest a small amount of it and "secure a degree" from one of those many universities that are happy to laud my academic achievements, even though I was a year 11 flunky. ‘Doctor Busby’. It has a nice sound to it don’t you think?

If time permits, I may catch up with that "blonde Russian bombshell". She seems quite a nice person and not at all focused on wealth alone.

Life’s great eh?