Condensed from The West Australian (online)

Restaurant manager pleads guilty to vigilante attack

14th April 2008, 16:00 WST

A 15-year-old boy caught trying to steal alcohol from Bunbury’s Lord Forest Hotel late last year was taken hostage, assaulted, threatened with a firearm and hit across the fingers with a hammer.

Details of the vigilante attack involving up to six adults emerged in the District Court in Bunbury today when the hotel’s former restaurant manager Max Ross, 43, pleaded guilty to deprivation of liberty.

In remanding Rossi for sentencing, Judge Allan Fenbury said people had to be discouraged from taking the law into their own hands. 

“While he was a young burglar breaking the law vigilantism is to be discouraged,” Judge Fenbury said. “You’ve got to call the police, even if sometimes they don’t come.”

And I guess that is the state we have got to. I don't condone smacking the little shit's fingers with a hammer but then, I don't particularly care that they did either.

I've seen time and time again in the line of work, where the police do not respond to reported criminal acts. They are just too busy.

Vigilantism is not simply, the likely outcome people will seek to obtain justice and redress, it is the only outcome they can pursue.

Out of the land of the long white cloud, comes the following news item:

Teenager assaulted with hedgehog: police

6th April 2008, 7:55 WST

A New Zealand man charged with assaulting a teenage boy with a hedgehog threw the animal at him from about five metres away, a newspaper has reported.

"It hit the victim in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks," police sergeant Bruce Jenkins told the Herald on Sunday.

He said that William Singalargh, 27, of Whakatane was arrested shortly afterward on February 9, for assaulting the 15-year-old with a weapon - "namely the hedgehog".

Ever since I was a kid visiting my grandmother in rural Yorkshire. I have been wary of these little beasts. To see that one of them conspired with a man to attack a youth comes as no surprise.

Thankfully, in Australia we only have to worry about echidnas and they are considerably less aggressive. A hedgehog in a full flight of fury is simply terrifying.

I think they should be declared as vermin and destroyed. They are responsible for far too many of society's problems  - including drink spiking.

Chihuahuas have been most newsworthy this past week. First,  Peter1610 blogged about a chihuahua-terrier cross being swallowed by a python and now comes news of another poor chihuahua critter being stuck up a tree. 

Oh yes - with a man:
(From The West Australian)

Man, chihuahua, found dangling in tree
1st March 2008, 10:00 WST

A 42-year-old man who became entangled in a tree while paragliding with his pet chihuahua east of Melbourne was rescued by emergency services after a five-hour search.

The paraglider set off on a routine flight with his chihuahua strapped to him from Donna Buang Summit Road, near Warburton, just before 3pm yesterday. But shortly after take-off the pilot became entangled in a tree and called 000 from his mobile phone.

Local police began a ground search as a police helicopter scoured the area, and they eventually made contact with the uninjured man about 6.40pm. He was dangling from a tree about 35 metres above the ground near Don Gap.

I am far too easily amused...

The ex Lord Mayor of Darwin is in jail after losing his appeal against false accounting charges while he was in office. 

Using council funds, this goose spent $2,758 on such items as a fridge, Darth Vader voice distorter, hair dyes and women's underwear. 

Now I am doomed to forever picture him dressed up in heavy drag lurching towards the fridge and telling his partner in the deepest of Darth Vader voices, "Do ya wanna beer hon?"

He has to be another candidate for Drongo Of The Year.

Two people who drowned in a flooded storm water drain in Sydney’s east were spraying graffiti on the walls at the time, police say.

Three people were inside the drain at Maroubra at about 5.30pm (AEDT) yesterday when it started to rain and the drain filled with water, trapping them inside.

The three were washed down the drain towards Lurline Bay, about a kilometre away, sparking a search by police on foot, PolAir and the Westpac rescue helicopter.

A 27-year-old Pennant Hills man escaped from the drain with help from nearby residents, but the bodies of a 25-year-old West Pennant Hills man and a 21-year-old St Peters woman were located inside the drain.

Officers later searching the drain found a bag of spray paint cans inside, police said.

A report is being prepared for the coroner

Maybe there was a time when I might have felt some modicum of pity. It is a high price to pay after all. Sadly, I think I am too disappointed and disgusted by shitheads such as these who believe that defiling the environment in which we all live is some sort of fun experience. I'm sick of oxygen-wasters who trample all over my landscape, tarnishing all that we say for no other reason than that they can.

Had they been washed out to sea completely and  fed by mother nature to the sharks, I couldn't care less.

God, I'm a mean spirited bastard. Graffiti is an attack on all of us. 

Please don't give me any of the bullshit about art and a person's right to protest. It doesn't wash with me.

A man of stocky build and about 187cm tall robbed a Dominoes Pizza shop in South Lakes last night if my wakening memory of the 06:00 news serves me right.

Police said he was wearing a blue shirt, dark-coloured trousers and a balaclava.

So. If you see a man fitting the above description, please contact police immediately. The balaclava should be a dead giveaway I reckon!

This 'peace on earth, goodwill to man' stuff didn't last very long did it? 

A man in his 50s was playing beach cricket in Geraldton and was beaten to death by one of this state's many aboriginal thugs. His granddaughter's fiance is in hospital after been glassed with a broken bottle. That was Christmas Day. 

Last night, a man was stabbed to death at Perth Central Bus Station and Benazir Bhutto was assassinated in Pakistan. 

It's business as usual, so it seems.

I'm developing a new thought process in regard to the future of the world. Now I'm not a super greenie nor am I frivolous with mother earth's resources. I try to do my bit for the environment but don't get carried away with it. Probably the way most of us are I suspect. I don't like waste, and I guess that is the major driving force behind any acts that could be described as 'green'. 

I have however, been considering the future of the earth for a while and I'm starting to think that trying to drastically change the lifestyle of the species known as 'human' will have about as much impact as a fart in gale force wind. 

Why do we want to save the earth? For who, for what? The place is doomed and that is simply the cyclic nature of all things. Sooner or later each of the species of this planet will either be destroyed or mutated to a point where identification by us would be impossible. 

Why save the earth for us? Why are we worth it? As a species we are unique in that we are clearly the most dominant of all living things. Whether this warrants saving the earth just for our benefit though doesn't convince me or compel me to make that extra effort. It is pointless and anyway, I think we are unworthy of eternal presence upon this landscape. 

We are dinosaurs with blinkers, made of metaphoric dust - and dust we shall be once more. 

Saving the earth is unnecessary because when all is said and done, she looks after herself. Those aboard her are - and always were - doomed.

In its letter to the retired bus driver, the club said: "After several complaints regarding your continual breaking of wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors.

"You sit close to the front door, so would you please go outside when required. So please take heed of this request." 

He went on to say: 

"I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell."

What is it about flatulence that is so amusing? Why does it make news on the BBC and why do people like me read it and then blog about it? Ya gotta wonder.

For the record - no, I am not one of those males who eagerly participate in farting competitions with their friends!

If there was a god who involved himself in the day to day affairs of this ant colony called ' humanity', then things would be very different. 

There would be a little thing called natural justice for one. People who indulge in excesses of violence and nastiness against their fellow man would quickly come a cropper. Instead of innocent Christmas shoppers being slaughtered by a demented, gun-toting psychotic, it would be somebody like Charlton Heston getting his brains spread out against a gun shop wall while out there buying a new toy for his grandchildren. 

Who would you like to see Christmas Shopping in Nebraska?

Charlton Heston (Nee John Charles Carter )?

George Dubya Bush ?

Osama Bin Laden?

John Laws?

Mr Burns?

The mind boggles at the prospect.

Oh well, perhaps Madonna will release a song about Paris Hilton's brazilian wax and the American public can turn the attention to something infinitely more compelling.

Teddy teacher secretly moved away from mob

A British teacher handed a 15-day jail-term for "insulting Islam" has been moved to a secret location amid fears for her safety.

Gillian Gibbons, 54, was transferred only a day after she was imprisoned, as hundreds of people wielding clubs and knives took to the streets in Khartoum calling for her to be shot. The Sudanese courts chose not to sentence Mrs Gibbons to be flogged but angry protesters denounced the decision for being too lenient.

Sheikh Abdul Jalil Karuri, a leading cleric, earlier whipped up a crowd attending Khartoum's Martyr's Mosque by telling them Gillian Gibbons had deliberately named her class's teddy bear Mohammed "with the intention of insulting Islam."

I urge everybody to protest at the sheer absurdity of this sentence.  One wonders why people of  western upbringing bother to try to drag some of these barbarians into the 21st century. 

I'm all for 'live and let live'. Perhaps it is the last remnants of my christian upbringing, though I think it simply strikes me as logical that people can do pretty much as they please, so long as no physical harm is brought to others. Tolerance is so fundamentally important to the survival of the species. 

An important question to consider in this hotly debated news story is - what was the intent when naming the teddy bear "Mohammed"? 
(Can you really believe that a teddy bear can create such havoc?)  

Is this actually some sort of Chaser-like publicity stunt?

I have decided on a course of action to show my disdain for religous persecution, and here is my plan:

I plan to name my next turd as "Mohammed" and I urge each and every one of you who treasures their freedom to do likewise! In fact, all my future turds shall be called "Mohammed".

When you are sitting in the crapper searching for inspiration, be so inspired! Drop a little "Mohammed" - not just for me, but for Gillian Gibbons. She is a martyr and I wish to champion her case by giving a shit.  

You know it is the right thing to do. 

In the interest of fairness, I also propose to name each splash of urine "Jesus" and my snot balls will hereinafter be known as "Buddha". 

(My belly button lint is now named "kali" after the Indian goddess.)
 
Join the protest!


 

It's news items such as the following that truly make me despair for the future of humanity. How can a group of sane people within a community specifically target for death another member of that community based upon their religious belief system? 

Basra militants targeting women

"The chief of police in the southern Iraqi city of Basra has warned of a campaign of violence against women carried out by religious extremists. 

It has, Maj-Gen Abdul Jalil Khalaf said, included threats, intimidation and even murder.

Some victims were dressed in indecent clothes by their killers or had notices attached to them, he said.

Women interviewed by the BBC said they no longer dared venture on to Basra's streets without strict Islamic attire.

"There is a terrible repression against women in Basra," Maj-Gen Khalaf told the BBC.

"They kill women, leave a piece of paper on her or dress her in indecent clothes so as to justify their horrible crimes."

Forty-two women were killed between July and September this year, although the number dropped slightly in October, he said.

In one case, he added, a woman was killed in her home along with her six-year-old son, who was rumoured to have been conceived in an adulterous relationship." 

This is 2007 and yet, scratch the surface and you'll find the savage within. I expect some of these horrible crimes are committed more in the name of sexual gratification than religious beliefs. Having said that though, that 42 women have been killed in this manner in one moderately sized city in a such a short span of time is an appalling indictment of their belief systems.

What possible future is there for such a country? A very dark one indeed. 

 

As an Eagles member, I have to say this has not been a great year. 

Ben Cousins.

To me it is just a tragedy to see someone lose control of his life like this. Unlike some of the behaviour of people off the rails, he's only done physical harm to himself. On a secondary level, certainly he's hurt his family. At a further distance, he's hurt the club and it's supporters. Frankly, I don't really give a toss about that. I just think it is so sad to see someone lose so much. To see so much potential laid to waste. To see good people close to him having to deal with such pain.

Now Ben has gone and I think the club were right to cut him from the player list. The press conference they held last night was all about supporting Ben (if he wishes their help) in overcoming his problems. It was made clear however that he will never play for the club again.

The one thing that really irritates me about this is that there are small-minded people who form their opinions based on club loyalties. Smug and superior is fine until you open the closet door of your club and perhaps see some lesser profile player with similar issues. They are out there. They are out there in real life too and I doubt that there are many people who have not been touched by the pain of drug abuse in their personal lives, or sadly - will be.

This is an issue that transcends a bloody game and Western Australia is suffering a pandemic of drug taking. It needs to be dealt with. Forget the footy.

Anyway, back to the simple little message I was originally going to give before I digressed:

Out of the tragic end to what was left of Ben Cousin's self respect this week, comes the opportunity for people to blog incessantly on the West Australian's web site. A number of people put many different spins on this saga. One comment that caught my eye (who don't they catch both your eyes?) was this post:



 At first I thought it may have been used in jest and might even have been a quote, but I can find no reference to it on Google. I think that what Susan lacks in literary depth is more than adequately compensated for by her numeracy skills.

From the West Australian:
Monkeys yield embryonic stem cells

20th June 2007, 16:31 WST

Human therapeutic cloning has moved a step closer, with US researchers successfully creating embryonic stem cells from monkey embryos.

In a world-first breakthrough, scientists told a stem cell research conference in Cairns this week that they had successfully created two batches of embryonic stem cells from cloned rhesus monkey embryos.

Why clone animal cells for use in human bodies? This is the thinking of unimaginative minds surely? 

I say we should clone human cells for use in animal bodies! We need never do anything again. The animals could do everything for us. Imagine the future!

We could have gorillas working as security guards. A goose as prime minister and a wombat as leader of the opposition!

We could have lizards and sharks as captains of industry and an elephant as a union leader.

To all of you who passed high school english:



I know it is wrong, but what's it called?

This story is many things. You can read the whole thing here: 

http://thewestaustralian.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=29&ContentID=29788

I feel sorry for the pig and disgusted that an 11 year old is already one of the NRA gun-toting goons. This is some mighty pig and I assume the picture wasn't doctored by the hunters. At least they are going to make sausages with the meat so it wasn't quite killing for the sake of killing. Maybe.

A Perth man aboard a yacht has been washed overboard by a freak wave and is missing, presumed drowned. 

It is a dangerous pastime for the well-heeled. Those who indulge in this pleasure in areas such as our Southern Indian Ocean do so knowing full well the risks. All the same, you have to be unlucky and to be fair, we all indulge in pastimes that could be considered dangerous. Whether it is driving too fast or bonking  a bikie's girlfriend - it could prove fatal.

What seems quite fickle though, is that a buffoon such as Tony Bullimore survives despite his best intentions. He is now embarking on a solo round the world voyage in an attempt to break some other idiot's record. This man surely needs guide rails just to get in the bath tub and would struggle to safely pass a stream of water into a four-foot wide dunny. Yet here he is tempting fate once more.

Oh how the gods do mock us...

Today's West:
"Monty Python's Broadway hit musical Spamalot is coming to Australia.

Spamalot tells the legendary tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and their quest for the Holy Grail.

Directed by Mike Nichols, the musical is based on the screenplay of the classic film Monty Python and the Holy Grail and features "a chorus line of dancing divas, flatulent Frenchmen, killer rabbits and a legless knight".

Python's Eric Idle, who wrote the Spamalot book, lyrics and music to the musical, said the production had been "lovingly ripped-off" from the screenplay of the Holy Grail.

"In revenge for the cricket, we are sending you Spamalot...actually we are anxious to see how the show plays upside down," Idle said.

Spamalot's first Australian performance will be held at Her Majesty's Theatre, Melbourne on November 23."

What better reason is there for a trip to Melbourne?

Bring it on!

From The BBC:
Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal. The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders. 

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi. "We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said. 

You will all have read my occasional comment about the sexual attraction of goats. The sooner a man is legally allowed to come out of the barn and confess his love for a goat, the better! 

Sudan - what a progressive nation.  It's the place I wanna be!

Fom The West Australian:
Charles urged prince to marry or split from Kate
The catalyst for Miss Middleton’s commitment showdown was the prince’s boozy nightclub outing in Bournemouth with army friends.
 
In her eyes, it was a humiliating episode that typified his cavalier attitude to their relationship. She has long ignored William’s wandering eye and the attention he receives from adoring females but recently it had started to take its toll.
  
His “obsession” with stunning heiress Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe has made her feel particularly threatened. According to Britain’s The Mail on Sunday, it was the prince’s pursuit of Ms Calthorpe that was behind his temporary split from Miss Middleton in the summer of 2004.

How many bloody hyphens is enough!? I dread the day when talking to my great grand children. If I have to get stern and call them by their full name I may well drop dead before I can blurt out, "Now how many times do I have to tell you, Montague Richard John Busby-Smithers-Tomkinson-Bingler.......argggghhhh! thud..

Also From The West:
Ex-Garuda boss charged over poisoning
The former head of Indonesia's national airline and another company official have been formally charged with aiding the 2004 poisoning of a prominent human rights activist during a flight to the Netherlands, a defence lawyer says.

They were initially charged with forging documents relating to the murder of human rights campaigner Munir Said Thalib. But those charges were dropped and they were then charged with helping commit premeditated murder, said Setiawan's defence lawyer, Muhammad Assegaf.

As if climbing on a Garuda flight wasn't risky enough. It just became even more deadly.

And again - The West:
Outrage as murderers, rapists get early parole
Dozens of convicted murderers, rapists and paedophiles are being released on parole despite receiving life or indefinite sentences for their crimes.

The Sentencing Act of 1995 states that offenders convicted of wilful murder must serve a minimum 15 years jail before being eligible for parole.

But in one example of the leniency under Labor, Ronald Ernest Jackson was released in April 2001 after serving just 12 years and five months of his sentence, despite being found guilty of two counts of wilful murder. 
“There is no legitimate reason Jim McGinty can give that can explain why murderers, rapists and paedophiles are not being kept in jail even for the minimum amount of time,” he said.
But Mr McGinty pointed to a 2004 Crime Research Centre of WA report which found of those serious offenders given parole only 5 per cent on average had committed further crimes.

However, the family of an elderly grandmother brutally bashed and raped by two teenage boys in 2000 are furious the pair have been granted early release — and that it appears there are no restrictions on where they can live.

The boys, then aged 15 and 14, each raped the frail widow four times, bashed her and burgled her home. After serving less than seven years of their eight-year sentence for what was described as one of the worst crimes to go before the WA Children’s Court, the pair are back at large, with the younger offender released in March and the older one due out today.

They had been released after serving four years but were soon returned to custody for breaching conditions of their parole. Despite those breaches, the Supervised Release Review Board again decided to let them out early.

Jim McGinty is one of the most dangerous Laborites you can imagine. He is a bleeding heart. left-wing radical,   

This pompous prick is all about social engineering. He has a vision - and fuck you if you don't share it. He knows better. He must do because he is clearly smarter than all of us. I detest the man as I do most politicians but I really do think that he is also very, very dangerous indeed. 

If he ever gets to lead the party, I might seek out one of his early releasees and hand over a sum of money and a gun. 

You occasionally come across a real gem while trawling through the pile of kitty litter tray material that is called the weekend's 'West Australian'.

Here is an excerpt from the real estate section. A couple and their yuppie home in Subiaco merited some sort of fluffy write-up. 

Such stuff is grist to the mill in weekend papers. Yet you can't help but guess that the reporter found this woman all too annoying and pretentious. 



My favourite part of the article reads:

"And living only a few minute's stroll away from the park has also had its benefits. 

Mrs Bruno's husband wanted to make her feel part of the in-crowd - that crowd being a group which meets in the park with their dogs at 5pm every day. So one weekend he took her to a pet shop and they came home with Lucy."

Lucy is of course, one of these faddish, pedigree pieces of canine furniture.