Alison Fan will tonight broadcast an interview she has conducted with John Kizon regarding Ben Cousins.

The interview was conducted at a wake in a Subiaco restaurant recently after the funeral of Craig Christian's father. No doubt a fine crowd of upstanding citizens turned out to farewell Craig's old man. I'm sure he spent the last half of his life revelling in the antics of his son and his associates. He must have been a top bloke to produce a piece of excrement like that and I would like to pay final tribute to him. Well done sir! He sets a fine example to all would-be killers thugs and drug dealers.

I wonder if it was a religious service? I've never had anything but contempt for a church that can welcome and take support from organised criminals and drug dealers, but hey! hypocrisy has long been their hallmark hasn't it?

What Kizon could possibly add to this saga is beyond me. I have heard shorts from the broadcast in which he rails at the Eagles for not providing sufficient guidance and help. Yet, here is a man with his record of criminal activity and drug dealing, spouting forth on the subject. What a laugh.

He may be right in his suggestion that the Eagles didn't do enough for Ben, but as someone else has said, what did Kizon do for him - his friend? I can guess what he did. Probably put him in contact with someone who could provide a ready source to feed his addiction.

We need some good old Melbourne Underbelly blood-letting here and I would delight at the prospect of seeing the likes of Christian, Kizon and various bikie and ethnic gang leaders wiped clean off the face of the planet. If some hangers on get hurt in the process well, such is the price you pay for not picking your friends more wisely.

I've ranted previously about reality television. The description of this palpable human waste as 'reality' is in itself a misnomer. It is no more like real life than is CSI Miami. I not only dislike it - I passionately abhor it. (Sorry Lisa!)

Each to their own and if people want to spend countless hours taking this in that is fine with me. Likewise, if I chose to slag it mercilessly, that is fine with me too. I think Network 10 is the worst offender and has offered us the 'Big Brother' and 'Idol' tripe. Sadly, the other networks and even dear old Aunty are on the bandwagon too.

I have missed out on television (by choice) for so long that I can not relate to, nor understand the attraction. Even more, I am genuinely saddened and disturbed by the level to which it is entrenched in the psyche of the all too average Australian fodder watcher. Such shows dominate radio discussion, newspapers and magazines. Predominantly 13 year old females of our species flock to shopping centres where these erstwhile nonentities arrive for promotional work. They are famous for absolutely fucking nothing yet they are famous nonetheless. They get paid about $1,000 to turn up at a pub and hang around for an hour (they really do).

The main thrust of such shows are to strip people of their self-respect and then hang them out in front of the viewers of Australia so that they can gawk in humour, sorrow or amazement.

The real trick is to make contestants cry. The more tears - the better it is. Watch the promos for these shows. Notice how they concentrate on the tear factor? Somebody said something nasty to someone else so ..... BLUBBER! Some fat fuck didn't lose 20 kilos in the last month despite cutting down the cream bun intake to 5 per day, so ..... BLUBBER! Some dipstick on an island got voted off because they are a first class spanker, so ..... BLUBBER! It's all rather tacky.

I actually only started this rant to because I wanted to comment on the fact that Channel 10 are to introduce Corey, the recalcitrant ratbag partyboy, to the Big Brother house this weekend. You know what disappoints me? I haven't heard anyone yet comment on the morality shown by one of our licensed television networks in allowing this booze-swilling buffoon to further play on his celebrity status.

I think it is improper and I think it is immoral. Here is a punk who caused vast damage to property and wasted immeasurable public resources and now Network 10 now sees fit to validate his behaviour.

What message is being given here? Will the young and impressionable in society feel that such behaviour if not condoned, might still be worthwhile because it's all just a bit of a laugh?

The executives of Network 10 will no doubt defend their right to put this teen wanker on the show and would probably claim some pious responsibility to show the public what they want. They would also claim that after all, they only reflect community standards - they don't shape them. Well, they do shape them and they continue to plummet to new depths in the vast pool of sewerage that is reality television. 

Network 10 executives are a disgrace and were I able to, I would dismiss the lot of them and  force them onto the streets to get a real job. Perhaps there could be a reality TV show in it?

So the gabfesting is over and the idealists God bless 'em are winging their way back to obscurity. I don't mind people wanting to change the world for the better and I really don't intend this to be a criticism of their good intentions. However...

What is 2020 really going to be like? What is achieved by inviting Corporate Australia Ltd. and the multimedia whores to a weekend chat?

Do you actually trust people whose primary claim to fame is the siphoning off of your wealth into their bulging pockets? I don't. The media are a subsidiary of Corporate Australia Ltd. and they represent their parent company magnificently. Our leading politicians have to bare their arses to Corporate Australia or they will be hounded out of office by an army of sheep, whipped into a frenzy by their media subsidiary. 

If we could transport now to 2020, I think you would be horrified by what you see. In the same way, if you were taken from 1978 and dropped into 2008, you would be equally horrified. There would be some amazement at the technological advances and sure, a lot of that is driven by business. I ask you though, at what price progress?

2020? I see even more of the same x 100. People who have no opinion other than that which is shoved into them by the media. I see a society where you dare not set out of your door without a can of mace, a knife and a personal alarm.  I see a society were we spend so much of our resources on human offal, that we can't afford to look after those who have put their lives on the line for us. I see a society where even more of the government is sold off to Corporate Australia. The balance sheet rules now and will rule stronger in 2020.

Seriously, what is your vision of 2020? Not what you would like to see, but rather what will you see?



What do you see for Australian society in 2020? How will it change?

Condensed from The West Australian (online)

Restaurant manager pleads guilty to vigilante attack

14th April 2008, 16:00 WST

A 15-year-old boy caught trying to steal alcohol from Bunbury’s Lord Forest Hotel late last year was taken hostage, assaulted, threatened with a firearm and hit across the fingers with a hammer.

Details of the vigilante attack involving up to six adults emerged in the District Court in Bunbury today when the hotel’s former restaurant manager Max Ross, 43, pleaded guilty to deprivation of liberty.

In remanding Rossi for sentencing, Judge Allan Fenbury said people had to be discouraged from taking the law into their own hands. 

“While he was a young burglar breaking the law vigilantism is to be discouraged,” Judge Fenbury said. “You’ve got to call the police, even if sometimes they don’t come.”

And I guess that is the state we have got to. I don't condone smacking the little shit's fingers with a hammer but then, I don't particularly care that they did either.

I've seen time and time again in the line of work, where the police do not respond to reported criminal acts. They are just too busy.

Vigilantism is not simply, the likely outcome people will seek to obtain justice and redress, it is the only outcome they can pursue.

I have a question for any environmentalists out there. 

When you eventually get your way and my local supermarket no longer provides biodegradable shopping bags for me to take home and use in my kitchen tidy bin, into what exactly, do I throw my rubbish?

A man has caught up with his daughter after some many years absence from the family scene. He decides he loves her in a totally non-parental way and fathers a child with her. He had previously fathered another little nipper with his daughter but that one died through some sort of congenital condition. Ya don't say!

Well, I am quite liberal-minded when it comes to the matter of sex between consenting adults, but there are some things that just should never happen. This is one of them.

'Two of them' is that we should never have had it aired around the country (well, the world even - I also saw it on the BBC web site).

'Three of them' is that the TV network (was it 'Nine'?) paid for them to make fools of themselves across the country. The networks are publicity-seeking, money-grubbing, dirty little corporate sharks with no sense of ethics or good taste.

This story was not newsworthy and my opinion of television media is not news.

How Should police have dealt with the youths who invaded the Sydney high school?

Let me say straight up that as a generalisation, I really like Chinese people.

I need to say this so that I can deny any suggestion of racism just for attributing characteristics to people of a particular nationality or race. I've worked very closely with, and befriended a lot of Chinese people over many many years. I get on infamously well with most of them. 

It seems to be okay to attribute good characteristics to a race of people or a particular nation, but if you follow the logical path of then impartially attributing something less than good, then you have suddenly become a bigot or worse still, a racist. To argue that any negative comment about a group of people is racist per se, is simply an argument that defies this simple logic. I would hope then that this much at least, is unarguable.

The real error (if there is one) is to generalise about people and not to put the point strongly enough that you are not labeling everybody the same way. You walk a fine line, no doubt about it. We are so politically correct these days that there are laws to actually prevent you from uttering truths on the grounds that it may be offensive. 

So, if the English are conceited, if redheads have a fiery temper, if Americans talk too loud and if aboriginals make good football players, probably not too many people would argue the point. They may well argue that you shouldn't be saying it however.

Anyway, I digress, so back to these people that are one fifth of the world's population. I did not want to spew forth a diatribe about the treatment of the Chinese oppressors towards their Tibetan neighbours. Nope. i just wanted to ask why it is that so many chinese girls shuffle as they walk?

I can detect a Chinese girl walking near me without even looking up (though I usually do, because they're often a glorious sight). You can hear them from way off. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. They don't seem to be able to lift their little feet. Is this some cultural relic of the days when the binding of feet was practised? You can hear them clearly as they move around the shops.

I should apologise for this blog, but I am a Yorkshirmenan after all and so being blunt and forthright is in my blood.

Over the last few decades there has been an increasing practice of giving children a family name that is a hyphenated combination of both parents' family names. Indeed, there are some of you out there who read this blog who have been afflicted with this same curse.

What concerns me is this: 

What happens when Adam Shingle-Cuttlebutt marries Kylie Yakman-Carter? Do they name their son 'Corey Shingle-Cuttlebutt-Yakman-Carter'?

Furthermore, when Corey grows up and marries Myrtle Splint-Nokker-Lebowski-Burpland (fruit of the loins of Harry Splint-Nokker and Gretal Lebowski-Burpland), do they call their kid 'Agnes Shingle-Cuttlebutt-Yakman-Carter-Splint-Nokker-Lebowski-Burpland'? What the Hell are their children going to do? 

Agnes' son could have a full time job just signing on for the dole - "Ziggy Shingle-Cuttlebutt-Yakman-Carter-Splint-Nokker-Lebowski-Burpland-Magenta-Minkleson-Hoverschlit-Grandipple-Munchabil-Zwinkler-Mandible-Busby" is no easy chore. (and yes, we are related).

I am gravely concerned by not only this but other questions that have come to light because of it. Questions such as "Do I have too much time on my hands?"  - and - "Just what the hell is going on inside my head?"

If you can help, please write to me and let me know:

John.Busby-Throatwarbler-Mangrove-Snippy-Bumpatton-Yurkle-Gurdleton-Mingemeister@hotmail.com

Be afraid, be very afraid...

There's a radio commercial for the Smith Family charity that pleads with us to help families who can't afford to provide for under-resourced school children. 

There's a whiny kid saying something along the lines of "But mum, why can't I have what the other kids at school have?" Mum retorts with something like, "I know darl, but we just can't afford it!"

I don't know about you, but whenever I hear 'darl' being used, it conjures up imagery of some 180 kilogram walrus with floral frock sitting in an arm chair, eyes permanently glued to her 106cm wide screen colour tv. Oprah is teaching all and sundry about healthy living and balanced lifestyles. She reaches out and fumbles another cigarette from the packet, ready to light it up even though the one that hangs from the side of her mouth is only half completed. Her fifth coffee of the afternoon sits on a side table amongst the clutter of a month's debris. Life's tough - and her kids are going to pay for it.

I don't know, maybe I have too vivid an imagination. I was certainly always told that in school, where I attended with the barest of provisions and did not whimper and whine about it.

 It is 3:15 a.m. as I write this and I have just come home from work. 

It also happens to be a Friday night and so there are revellers returning home who are still driving around the streets of Perth. Canning Highway was not busy, but there were cars ahead of me. Probably about 6 in all, and they occupied both lanes. Occasionally a car would change position from left to right lane, or right to left depending entirely I suppose, upon the driving habits of the occupants. As usual, some drivers hardly indicated - if at all.

I was in the right hand land, having recently overtaken a vehicle and I estimate I was travelling at a speed of about 65kph when I had the living daylights frightened from me. A motorbike came up on the inside lane and I had no warning of his arrival. He weaved his way through the cars ahead of me and what frightened me was the sheer lunacy of the speed at which he was travelling. I would conservatively estimate it at approximately 180kph. It was outlandish and suicidal and frankly inexplicable. it would have been bad enough on an empty road, but this road had cars in both lanes moving generally about 65 kph and changing lanes as well. I am mystified by the extent of the stupidity of this bike rider.

In keeping with my relatively new belief system and indeed, a philosophy that I am happy to debate and defend, I really would feel an awful sadness for his family and friends when his blood and flesh is eventually splattered across 300 metres of bitumen. As far as the fucking idiot himself is concerned though, I don't give a giant flying rat's arse. People like this deserve no sympathy, no compassion no remorse, no regret.  

I'm not wishing him death. I wouldn't do that and I need not wish it anyway for it will surely happen (if it hasn't happened already further up the road). I only wish that he takes no one else with him. People like this can be such a drain upon our limited emergency service resources and our overtaxed health system.

As I've said before, my milk of human kindness has curdled in recent years. I'll save my sympathy for the innocent and the more deserving. Fuckwits with a racing Honda between their legs do not attract the compassionate side of my nature. 

What ye sow, so ye shall reap.

If there was a god who involved himself in the day to day affairs of this ant colony called ' humanity', then things would be very different. 

There would be a little thing called natural justice for one. People who indulge in excesses of violence and nastiness against their fellow man would quickly come a cropper. Instead of innocent Christmas shoppers being slaughtered by a demented, gun-toting psychotic, it would be somebody like Charlton Heston getting his brains spread out against a gun shop wall while out there buying a new toy for his grandchildren. 

Who would you like to see Christmas Shopping in Nebraska?

Charlton Heston (Nee John Charles Carter )?

George Dubya Bush ?

Osama Bin Laden?

John Laws?

Mr Burns?

The mind boggles at the prospect.

Oh well, perhaps Madonna will release a song about Paris Hilton's brazilian wax and the American public can turn the attention to something infinitely more compelling.

A huge announcement was made today by the Western Australian State Minister for Hype THE HON SHEILA M McHALE MLA. :

"Perth wins 2011 ISAF Sailing World Championships"

Sheila is - amongst many things titular, the Minister for Tourism. (She is also the Minister for Culcha and the Yarts). Sheila was quoted on radio this morning as saying that this will "help put WA on the map".  Well, whoopee-bloody-do.

I swear if I hear this hackneyed phrase just one more time I will blow the frigging place up and take us right off this bloody all-important map.  

Brother Peter (No, he's not a monk - and he isn't the Messiah either) mentioned here, his opinion regarding the Red Bull Air Race. I am compelled to agree. Much ado about very little. 

From my perspective, I'm sick to death of being inconvenienced with road closures and alternate plans just to go about my everyday existence while these much-hyped events are in session. 

Be honest, how many of you had even heard of the bloody Red Bull Air Race prior to it arriving in Perth last year? As I sit at home this Sunday morning all I have heard is the constant drone of planes zooming down the river. It sounds like some great lawn mower gig in the sky. 

I think some of this stuff is overkill. I work shift work from the Hyatt Building and over the course of the past few years I've been put out greatly by Christmas pageants, cycle races, sky shows, car rallies, Red Bull planes and Anzac Day. 

Now, I don't mind the inconvenience of a couple of these events and you might guess which they are, but I am fed up with the tourist dollar being touted as the lifeblood of this state and having to make sacrifices for that very reason . It is not - and never was our lifeblood. 

The people who organise these events are very good spin doctors and governments of the day are astute enough to realise that they have to jump on board or be trampled underfoot. How I pity the poor people of Sydney for what they went through for the Johnny and George show!

Specifically, I guess I don't greatly object to this air show,  but I'll be damned if I am going to overrate it's value to this state. It's economic and marketing significance is about as great as mine, and yet you don't see me heralded in the media and see streets roped off for my dazzling arrival at the Hyatt Centre. 

I do it on an almost daily basis too.

As an Eagles member, I have to say this has not been a great year. 

Ben Cousins.

To me it is just a tragedy to see someone lose control of his life like this. Unlike some of the behaviour of people off the rails, he's only done physical harm to himself. On a secondary level, certainly he's hurt his family. At a further distance, he's hurt the club and it's supporters. Frankly, I don't really give a toss about that. I just think it is so sad to see someone lose so much. To see so much potential laid to waste. To see good people close to him having to deal with such pain.

Now Ben has gone and I think the club were right to cut him from the player list. The press conference they held last night was all about supporting Ben (if he wishes their help) in overcoming his problems. It was made clear however that he will never play for the club again.

The one thing that really irritates me about this is that there are small-minded people who form their opinions based on club loyalties. Smug and superior is fine until you open the closet door of your club and perhaps see some lesser profile player with similar issues. They are out there. They are out there in real life too and I doubt that there are many people who have not been touched by the pain of drug abuse in their personal lives, or sadly - will be.

This is an issue that transcends a bloody game and Western Australia is suffering a pandemic of drug taking. It needs to be dealt with. Forget the footy.

Anyway, back to the simple little message I was originally going to give before I digressed:

Out of the tragic end to what was left of Ben Cousin's self respect this week, comes the opportunity for people to blog incessantly on the West Australian's web site. A number of people put many different spins on this saga. One comment that caught my eye (who don't they catch both your eyes?) was this post:



 At first I thought it may have been used in jest and might even have been a quote, but I can find no reference to it on Google. I think that what Susan lacks in literary depth is more than adequately compensated for by her numeracy skills.

Why is it that when you ask a Coles check-out chick to wipe milk off the conveyor belt before you put your groceries on it, that she glares at you as if you've just butt-raped her grandmother with a rancid pineapple, wrong way up?

I guess it is a tough job, passing groceries over a scanner and in addition, listening in and then joining in on your fellow check-out chicks' personal conversations.

And I thought the lack of eye contact was actually to do with my new appearance. Silly of me not to realise that there was so much else going on other than serving the customer! I am suitably remorseful, or as Borat would say, "NOT!"

Also from the news:

Health, consumer and industry groups made a united call for Food Standards Australia New Zealand to remove its ban on adding fluoride to bottled water, Fairfax newspapers reported.

It appeared on radio too and it is all about forcing bottled water producers to add fluoride to their so-called pure mineral spring H²O. 

I don't know - perhaps it's just me. Does it strike anyone else that this smacks of a nanny state gone mad?  We have fluoride in our tap water, so surely those who wish to avoid an extra fluoride intake should be entitled to do so? 

This is a different argument to the one about whether or not fluoride should be added to tap water. It gets added to tap water as well as numerous other chemicals and it gets added there for very sound reasons. But to legislate to force it to be added to a product you pick up off a shelf by choice is both idiotic, dictatorial. and unnecessary.